Reporters: Need a good source? Give me a jingle

Like most daily-newspaper journalists (or in my case, former), I can rustle up a small layer of expertise about a large number of subjects. There are a few fascinating subjects on which I am personally expert. (“Mile wide, inch deep” is the less flattering way to characterize this trait.)

When I see articles on “my” subjects, I always wish the reporter had called me first. To wit:

The New York Times piece headlined “The Little Voice Inside Your Twinge.” This article, in the “Personal Best” health section commiserates with active folks who don’t know how to evaluate pain:

“MAYBE the problem is that it is hard to understand what your body is saying.’Listen to your body’ is always a tough one,’ said Keith Hanson, a coach who directs the Hansons-Brooks Distance Project, which recruits talented distance runners and supports them while they train full time…’There are several aches and pains that you can run through,” Mr. Hanson said, “and others that need some down time.”

In all due respect, Coach, you’re off base. There is one simple rule here, and you can quote me:

“Any twinge can be the start of something very dangerous,” warned Hartnett. “Best to repair to the couch with a book until you’re sure it’s gone.”

Another one I spotted, also in the NYT, is “The 10-Ingredient Shopping Trip,” in which Tara Parker-Pope ably chronicled foodie Mark Bittman’s plan to get five days of meals out of a 10-item list. Here’s his 10:

1. Chicken breasts (4 boneless)
2. Bacon (1/2 pound)
3. Shrimp (1 pound)
4. Spinach (1 pound)
5. Tomatoes (6)
6. Ginger
7. Onions
8. Asparagus (2 pounds)
9. Button mushrooms (1 pound)
10. Loaf of good country bread

Parker-Pope isn’t at fault here. Bittman means well, but this list is simply not accurate. It should read:

1. Loaf of “Dave’s Killer Bread”
2. Case of caffeine-free Diet Pepsi
3. Case of kid-size chocolate-brownie Clif bars
4. Quart of almond butter
5. Package of Laughing Cow Lite Cheese wedges
6. Bag of apples
7. Package of frozen Morningstar Farms Tomato & Basil Pizza Burgers
8. Package of Trader Joe’s dark-chocolate covered raisins
9. One enormous garnet yam
10. One enormous can of albacore tuna in water

Anything else? Just give me a call. Glad to help.