Big hips sink ships

Finally, an intelligent movement toward containing the dangerous fat element in our society.

Surgeon Delos M. Cosgrove, CEO of the Cleveland Clinic, bravely stepped forward and said if he had his way, his health care facility, which already has a ban on hiring smokers, would quit hiring obese people.

(See the Aug. 16 New York Times Magazine piece by David Leonhardt that quotes him, here. The predictable bleating of knee-jerk apologists-for-the-zaftig followed.)

Cosgrove’s “tough love approach” as columnist Leonhardt cheerfully labels it, is a good start. But responsible hiring policies and a “fat tax,” as discussed in the commentary, are just the beginning. The nattering of weak-kneed fatanistas will soon fade, and real Americans can finally get down to the real work of protecting this country.

Given the way this whole torture business is being blown out of proportion, it’s no wonder that public figures are hanging back. But clear-headed people know that the fat-threat solution can be summed up in two words, and it’s time to step up and say them: Internment camps.

I know, I know, it sounds like a huge undertaking. You worry that it will distract us from the important business of getting the word out about President Obama’s missing birth certificate. But I respectfully suggest that the blueprint for the necessary relocation process already exists. No need to re-invent the wheel! A simple internet search will turn up all sorts of useful materials from the forward-thinking folks at the War Relocation Office of the 1940s. Simply substitute the word “obese” wherever “Japanese Americans” appears.